Healing for my Dreams

I have been taking the last several months off Pole Dance Training to focus on healing my body. 


Over the past few years, I’ve acquired several acute injuries that have haunted me over the course of my dance training. In retrospect, I realize I came to Pole Dance with a mis-aligned body from an entire adulthood of poor posture. I was showing up for my training on a weak foundation.

I never noticed any of my musculo-skeletal imbalances until Pole Training brought them out. Not to mention–Pole Dancing itself is not a muscularly balanced activity–and requires a lot of intelligent–and diligent–cross-training and self-care. 

As I advanced in my training, I began to place high demands on a rocky foundation. I also pushed really hard in the first couple of years of my Flexibility training. This led to Joint Impingements, Scar Tissue, and Muscle Tightnesses galore

It was very challenging for me to let go of Dance training in favor of my healing process. 

I have so many dreams for what I want to create as a Dancer, who I want to be. What I want to be able to do and express with my body. I just wanted to go onward and upward! Stronger, Better, Faster. Comparing myself to other Dancers, and not wanting to feel as though was lagging behind. 

But the truth is–I was in a vicious cycle of training to the limitations of my injuries, hurting myself at those limits, and having to stop and start all over again. I know that if I want to reach the high level of Athleticism and Artistry I’m dreaming of–I have to allow my body to heal. And Integrate my healing arts into my practice upon my return. 

I’m grateful for these injuries–because through them I’ve learned a lot about anatomy, exercise science, how to train with proper form…and I’ve introduced to new forms of self-care–including Myofascial Release Therapy, hence the ball I’m holding in this photo. 

These injuries have made me a much better Dancer.

The slowing-down process required me to go back and assess the quality of my most basic Movements both on and off the Pole. It’s made me appreciate and savor what it means to do something really well. What it means to have true refinement in one’s quality of movement–and to take the necessary steps to get there, no matter how long it takes. 

Healing for Dance has freed up a lot of Time and Space in my life to focus on other my Creative gifts such as Writing and Visual Arts, as well as my Creative-prenurial pursuits–including this website! 

I’ve also matured a great deal in the sense of seeing the big picture, and being willing to take a step back from the more glamorous and showy aspects of Pole Dancing that I normally post on Social Media– to stay quiet and build the foundation for something much greater. 

I know very well that I could get away with being half of the Dancer I want to be and still gain popularity. After all, I’m very beautiful and unique. Many people are wowed by the simplest tricks. I also know that I could probably “work hard” and eventually attain some “amazing” opportunities–and still be in a lot of pain. But I want something much more.

 I want to create Soulful Masterpieces that require well-honed refinements and complete devotion to my Artistry.

My version of success also includes my whole self. When I get to the top of my mountain–I want to be empowered, healthy and whole. 

Healing my body is a very conscious process and it’s not the least bit passive. Even the moments of rest and seeming passivity are very intentional. Time alone does not heal–it’s what you do with the time. 

I’ve been re-training my postural habits quite extensively over the past couple of months. I purchased a new desk so that I can work on the Floor in Lotus position, and I stopped using electronics in bed so that I wouldn’t relax into a position where my spine was curved for hours. I also began sleeping on my back to protect my shoulder joints. 

The extra money that I would have invested into Pole Dance Stilletos, Costumes, and Studio Space–I’ve invested into Physiotherapy and Acupuncture appointments across Europe, Therapeutic Self-Care Tools, and Ergonomic Work-Space Equipment. 

My Healing Practice incorporates a combination of Myofascial Release Therapy, Corrective Exercises, Strength, Flexibility, and Dance/MVMNT that I feel is safe for my body. 

I spend almost the same amount of time and care on my Healing practice as I do on my Training. That includes all the research I do to educate myself and be my own doctor. 

Sometimes I get really frustrated with my process–especially when I feel like I don’t have the answers and things are moving slowly. I feel lost, and blame it on the fact that I don’t have consistent access to the medical (or alternative medical) care that I want and need. 

In those moments, I just have to take a deep breath and understand that everything is just a tool for my own Healing practice. Ultimately, I’m the one who knows my body best and who is in the best position to heal my body. 

One day, I will have a team of Physiotherapists, Acupuncturists, Personal Trainers, and Bodyworkers who can help me as I train at a high level. Now I know that whatever business I build with Dance–whatever value I command for my service as an Artist– needs to financially support that. 

The dreams I carry exist for a reason. If I believe in my body being able to heal–it will.

I revel in the knowing that when I reach the top of my mountain–when I achieve my dreams–it will be resting on a strong foundation of my own Healing and all the Wisdom I’ve gleaned from my journey.

When You Finally Embrace It…Let It Be The Real Thing. 


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